Spiral
by Spoodlexiii
Summary: Sure, he knew Shinji was dying, but seeing one of his fits was what brought the message home. AkixShinji, oneshot.


A/N: Angsty, as per the usual. But I threw in some fluff near the end, and I hope it doesn't unbalance the fic. Read and review plzkthnkz

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"What's up with Aragaki?" Junpei asked, but I shot such a pointed glance to Minato, he had the sense to wrap an arm around Junpei and drag him around the corner. I looked forward, moving to my knees by his side. The sides of his body heaved under his heavy coat, and a hot sheen of sweat began to shine on his face. Crouched over on all fours, he gasped and shuddered and tried to take in air. I crawled to be in front of him, knees dragging through a puddle of blood (not his, but the blood that came in the halls of Tartarus) and I pulled off his hat. Using my teeth to rip off my knuckle blades, I took his cheeks in my hands to try and find his dark and hooded eyes under his mass of dark hair. When I found them, the burning in my eyes made me blind for a second.

With a weak bat, he pushed my hands away, but then his head ducked and he coughed and gasped for air. The palms he had weight on curled into fists. He was in pain, he was hurting more than he ever had before, and I didn't know how to make it ease. The gasping turned dry and I cringed when fell to his side, landing in the pool of blood I'd crawled through. As his arms curled around his sides, I moved forward and tugged him into my lap. It would pass. We just had to wait it out. Junpei was protesting down the hall, but I didn't hear him as anything more than background noise. All I wanted to listen to was Shinji, even if his rasps were making my spine shudder and my insides constrict.

Blood ran down his nose not long after that, and he sunk his teeth down into my arm (maybe thinking it was his own?) to keep from screaming. I chewed my tongue, and used my loose hand to run down his mane of messy, dark hair. Those hooded eyes were open, staring across the dark hallway. The silence broke when he swallowed and released my arm from his jaws. "Aki," he murmured, shutting those dark eyes, fingers moving weakly from his side to try and find mine. I hooked them, and he swallowed again to keep back his gagging. "G-Get me out…of here…" I silently obeyed, pulling him up with me, and then I tugged him onto my back. Shinji was lighter than he used to be. I wanted to scream at the idea; there was nothing around to hit and I was more stupidly afraid of that thought than anything I'd just seen. Shinji was still heavy, so I had to piggyback him; I couldn't carry him like he used to be able to carry slim me.

I yelled over my shoulder for Minato and Junpei to get themselves out of there as I took off for the teleporting spot to send us back to the lobby of Tartarus. Junpei made a noise of protest, but I was gone. Fuuka fed me instructions to the location when I asked, and while I ran there as fast as I could, I glanced sideways to Shinji's pale face. Blood tainted his lips and was splattered all around his nose. He was coughing again, shaking, and I swallowed. His fits…I'd seen one or two of them before. He'd collapsed in the hall at the dorm once, and another time in the back alley at Port Island. They were happening more often, he'd admitted once, under his breath. This left me with just one, horrible, brutal thought;

Shinji was dying.

I knew it already--I knew he was taking those pills and I knew they were killing him. Yet it was the proof that made me stay awake during the night, not the knowledge. The image of him behind Port Island, grabbing the wall, wheezing for air, clutching his chest and letting a trickle of red blood run from his open maw haunted me in my dreams, between the visions of horrible Shadows and twisted hallways. The dark moon had cast a glow on his silhouette, throwing a long sprawling shadow across the brick wall. His hat was clutched tightly between his fingers, messy dark hair hanging freely in his eyes. Then there had been that one moment when his eyes opened and his gaze caught me there on the steps above him, staring down with a wide glare and an agape jaw, and I felt my heart stop as I saw that wild, feral gleam of horror in his chocolate gaze.

The Dark Hour had ended by the time we reached the Port Island station. I eased Shinji off of my back, but he was still in no condition to walk. I slung his arm around my shoulders and supported him, just desperate to try and keep his feet under him. Shinji was focusing on trying to breathe, wiping the blood from his face in a minor effort to look inconspicuous. When people asked on the monorail going back to the Iwatodai station, I merely explained that he needed his asthma medication and we'd left it at home. Shinji only managed to nod feebly, having an even harder time breathing with his heavy coat on, and a sleeve under his nose to keep the blood from running.

I pulled him back onto my back once out of that monorail, and he clung to my figure with a faint desperation that made my eyes sting. The breathing was leveling out, but the shakes and the coughing had yet to wane, so I moved as quickly as I could on that dark sidewalk. The moon laughed at us ahead in the sky, glowing in a bright half-moon crescent. I dared to glance over my shoulder again, but was met with the pallid and faint expression of Shinjiro. His eyes were shut, lightly, because by this point the was just coughing and shivering, and no longer gasping for air. The fit was almost over, but Shinji looked to tired to even stand up straight, let alone walk the rest of the way.

I managed to somehow find the strength to take Shinji all the way back to the Dorm, and then take him up the stairs. My legs gave out in the second floor hallway, and I lost my balance as a knee buckled. Landing hard on my shins, I was very careful to make sure Shinji slid off of my back instead of collapsing. Though I was breathing hard, I leaned over Shiniji, wiping away the remaining blood, and tried to sit upright. The other's fingers found mine, and his dark eyes glowed up at me under his thick bangs.

"Weak," he muttered. "You carried me only about a mile…maybe two…And then you fall down?"

I smiled despite myself, but took a moment to catch my breath. "Well, I'll have you know," I replied softly, rubbing his hand. "Last time we worked together, I wouldn't have made it to Port Island unassisted…I'd be proud of me."

"Aki," Shinji whispered, and I felt my smile falter. "You…You know the alternative to this…I'm…happier this way." My fingers clenched his, pain ripping at my heart and my stomach.

"Don't be stupid," I snapped, voice wavering. "God damn it, Shinij, you're an idiot. I was never afraid of you. Never. Not once. Even when…Even when Castro…" Shinji swallowed hard. "Not even then, Shinji. You're my brother."

"You're my lover," Shinji corrected lowly, and released my hand. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, hair obscuring his face, then sat back on his knees. I helped him out of his coat when he started to undo the buttons, but he pulled a face at my assistance. Then, without hesitating, he draped it around my shoulders and took my chin, giving me a rough and harsh kiss. It tasted of salt and rust, but I didn't pull away. We stayed like this, kissing hungrier the longer we were together. Shinji soon had me pinned to the carpet, a hand on my wrist, the other keeping the coat on my body. It was almost clumsy; his coordination hadn't returned yet, so our teeth clicked together, his nips were harder than they should've been, and his knee was digging into my side, but I didn't seem to notice.

I purred into him as his teeth moved to my neck, leaving a faintly crimson trail of his blood along the way, and the Persona-user gnawed on the flesh above my collarbone. It hurt and stung, and he left many red marks and bruises, but I moaned and grabbed his hair out of instinct. In turn, my own teeth moved to his ear, and I licked the shell slowly and carefully. As he left a few hickeys on the side of my neck, I finally figured out what he was doing.

He was distracting himself.

And I was okay with it.

It wasn't until we heard footsteps that I rolled on top of Shinji and pulled him up onto my shoulder like he was an infant in need of burping. I stood with great effort, then looked over my shoulder in time to see weary and tired Minato, Junpei, and Ken move up the stairs. What I hadn't realized was the blood over my lips and trailing down to my neck; I smiled at them warily as they came to face us. What I thought they saw and what they saw were two entirely different things. Shinji glanced with tired and exhausted eyes over his shoulder, his own face bloody.

"Oh my god!" Junpei squealed. "You're a vampire, Akihiko-senpai!" Ken clung to Minato's sleeve, eyes wide, and Minato actually looked faintly amused. I blinked, touched my lips, then in alarm looked to Shinjiro. "Quick, Ken!" Junpei began to make plans to outrun the vampire, and my paining heart eased. I hissed tiredly, licking Shinji's blood eagerly. Even if it was blood, even if it tasted different from the drugs he took, I enjoyed it. It belonged to Shinji, and I loved everything that came off of Shinji.

"I need to get into my coffin," I explained weakly to Minato. "Mind opening my door?" Ken and Junpei gasped, and Minato smirked knowingly. Opening the door for us, I thanked him and hesitated, before I glanced to Junpei and Ken. I leaned forward and sniffed his neck. Junpei shrieked and ran up the next flight of stairs, and Ken dove around the corner behind the energy drink machine. Minato laughed softly, and I thanked him again.

"Are you okay, Shinjiro-san?" Minato asked gently, and Shinji gave a weak and wary smirk over his shoulder. I took Shinji into my room, and I set him down on my bed. I shut the door, thanking Minato once more, and then gave some smart-ass comment relating on the subject of vampirism and how good Minato smelled. Then I went about helping Shinji undress, since he could hardly even lift his head.

Dictating what shirt he wanted to wear, like a three-year old, I smirked, amused. What caught me off guard was how he added in a low, gentle, serious voice, "That kid…he knows how to make…death…not…threatening." I prickled in alarm, looking up at him, but Shinji was smiling the most honest smile I'd ever seen. It was only seconds later that he would collapse on his side and fall straight asleep, but during those seconds he was upright and smiling, I felt everything in my chest rip asunder. I wanted to scream. I wanted to reach forward and cry that he was stupid. But I merely smirked back and nodded, agreeing.

"He's something else," I replied softly, and by then he had slumped over. I smiled softly. Shinji. My brother, my lover, my best friend was going to die, and he seemed to be happy about it. He treated the concept like he would an old girlfriend; He hadn't encouraged her presence, but he didn't mind it now that he was comfortable with the idea. It hurt. It hurt for both of us, and I knew it, but I still hated him for smiling like that when he thought of death. I wiped away the blood on our faces better, using my sleeve, and then I kissed his lips softly.

"I hope your pain ends soon, Shinji," I whispered to him. When his pain ended…maybe mine could too. I stroked his cheek as I pulled myself up next to him in my bed, and as I shut my eyes, I rested my forehead between his shoulder blades and whispered what we never said to each other's faces but always said in our heads. I just hoped that this time, he heard me.


End file.
